February 18, 2009
Anatomy Of An Internet Food Phenomenon
Salutations! You’ve come to the right place- the birthplace of the UNHEALTHY PRODUCT INCENDIARY DEVICE AND/OR NATURAL DISASTER! That’s right, it’s the taste sensation that’s been sweeping the nation! Dare not compare it to the stomach-churning Bacon Explosion or the possibly deadly Bacon Cheese Pizza Burger, the likes of which have been clogging your arteries and browser cache for months! This is truly the ur-mother of Hieronymus Bosch-inspired foodstuffs!
Let’s face it. We here at Feeding Fashionistas been trying in vain to rake in the zillions of subscribers it takes to score that ever-elusive blogger book deal/Bentley fleet/personal winery we so deserve, so what better way to knock our throughput out of the park then to write the final gut-pummeling Digg-baiting shock-recipe the internet will ever need?! Are we right or are we right?!
THE UNHEALTHY PRODUCT INCENDIARY DEVICE AND/OR NATURAL DISASTER
Ingredients:
12 lbs assorted fatty meat products, 6lbs of which *must* be bacon, but the rest is up to you
5 lbs American cheese, shredded
1 lb butter
1 bag panko crumbs
2 bottles each, BBQ sauce, Tabasco sauce, A-1 Sauce
1 bottle Bacardi 151 rum
1 can Pam spray oil, butter flavorTools needed:
1 very large grill
1 chest freezer
1 Sno-disc, brand new
1 clean bucketInstructions:
Mix BBQ sauce, Tabasco and A-1 into a slurry in the bucket.
Spray the concave side of the sno-disc liberally with butter-flavored Pam, and arrange half of the bacon slices in a spiral to cover it. Think architecturally. Add bacon bracing where necessary. Load bacon-covered sno-disc into chest freezer and freeze until solid. Pop bacon disk out of sno-disc and retain in freezer for later.
Arrange the other half of the bacon on the sno-disc as earlier. Cover bacon with pats of butter, taking care not to leave any bacon showing. Coat butter layer with panko crumbs. Press crumbs into butter with the back of a wooden spoon, let rest for 5 minutes, then coat the crumbs with half of the sauce mixture.
Fry remaining meat products lightly and combine with shredded cheese. Pour meat-and-cheese mixture into the sno-disc, taking care not to disturb the bacon and butter layers beneath. Place previously frozen bacon disk on top, then place a full sheet pan on top of the whole conglomeration, and flip it (get help if needed). Remove sno-disc and wash thoroughly before riding.
Load the obelisk into the BBQ grill, top with remaining sauce. Place a few bricks under the edge of the bottom bacon disk to add support and help the structure retain its form. Grill at wood mark VII for 7 hours, or until the center reaches 150 degrees farenheit. Can’t be too careful. In terms of pathogenic risk, this thing makes a turducken look like a tofu sandwich.
Before serving, douse structure liberally with 151, and set ablaze at the table. There, you’ve done it. You’ve created the Unhealthy Product Incendiary Device And/Or Natural Disaster. You’re truly a credit to your race.
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Filed under: Philosophy, Recipes, Technique
February 20th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
It’s a good thing thing that the UPID A/O ND is heavy.
Otherwise, it might get away and be listed as a UFO.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
LOL